But first I want to brighten the day with some trivia: today was an exercise of ribbon stripes in primary colours. L said i was such a dandy, which was pleasing. I wore my red ribbon striped shirt with massive cuffs, a yellow and white diagonally striped cravat and long black socks with bright blue crisscrossed lines below my breeches. With a black pinstriped vest. Of course it didn’t make work any easier to bear, which is becoming duller by the second. I will quit my whinging.

Or i could wallow a bit in my sulky mood, which seems to have taken hold of me quite effectively.

- Do you despise all unhappy people or is it me specifically?
- I don’t despise you. It’s not your fault. You’re ill.
- I don’t think so.
- No?
- No. I’m depressed. Depression is anger. It’s what you did, who was there and who you’re blaming.
- And who are you blaming?
- Myself.

Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psychosis

It’s a superb play of cynical black humour, her script is beautiful, melancholic, wicked, the words hold so much, deftly laid down, elegant and profound and vulnerable, banal and honest.